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How to navigate nanny issues during divorce

On Behalf of | Apr 14, 2024 | Divorce

When parents divorce, the best interests of their children are always paramount concerns. 

Sharing the same nanny between the two households can provide your children with a huge source of stability, but that means negotiating some careful agreements with both your ex and the nanny. Here are some talking points:

1. Do the nanny’s job duties need to be revised?

If the nanny is going to be moving back and forth between houses with the children, are there any other changes in their duties? Will they be responsible for transporting the kids to more of their activities? Will meal prep be a new task? You, your ex-spouse and your nanny all need to be on the same page about your expectations.

2. Who will pay for the nanny’s services and expenses?

One of the easiest ways to keep track of child-related expenses is to give the nanny a credit card that can be used for everything from school supplies and cold medications to gas for the nanny’s vehicle when they’re transporting the children to extracurriculars and special events. You need to make certain that you and your ex are in agreement about who will pay the nanny’s salary and how all those “extra” expenses will be divided.

3. Are you capable of keeping the nanny out of the middle?

To make this work, you and your ex-spouse cannot put the nanny in the middle of your conflicts. That means not purposefully contradicting each other’s directions or using your nanny as a messenger every time you need to change the visitation schedule. Get a scheduling app and communicate directly.

Good communication with your ex is important when you’re establishing important agreements related to childcare – and getting those agreements in writing is essential. Experienced legal guidance can help you navigate the situation.